THE DILLI WAY- "WE DO IT TOGETHER"

I'm Back

Hello People!
Sorry for the sudden and long dissapearance. I know hardly anyone of you might have noticed dust accreting on my blog but still ill put out an excuse.You see your's truly was shot a few months back. It did hurt a lot no doubt but after a few weeks as i recovered and was ready to get back on track i got this ego boost that someone actually tried killing me!!! That means i was actually important enough for someone to risk getting caught to shoot me down. I had to find out who was it. So when i plumbed into the situation feeling all important and crying for 'Z' security, i found out that my shooter was a deranged lover on his way to kill his girlfriend and just decided to do some shooting practice first. Shooting practice!!! i was his plastic duck!!! That just took me deep into depression. I know what a sad story my life is...anyways i'm up and running now so ill see you more often on this space. Keep dropping by. Thank You.

P.S you are more than welcome to send me chocolates, teddys....card?

Yo makhi, this is my blog. :)

Seminars For Men... Once again the female staff will be offering courses to men of any marital status. Classes will be limited to 10 men as the course material may be difficult.

SFM 101 - Combating Stupidity

SFM 102 - You Too Can Do Housework

SFM 103 - P.M.S. : Learing When To Shut Up.

SFM 104 - How To Fill An Ice Tray

SFM 105 - We Don't Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas, Give Us Money

SMF 106 - Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4 AM

SMF 107 - Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly called Don't Wash My Panties)

SMF 108 - Parenting:No, It Doesn't Stop With Conception

SMF 109 - Get a Life, Learn How to Cope

SMF 110 - How Not to Act Like an Asshole When You're Obviouly Wrong

SMF 111 - Spelling, Even You Can Get it Right

SMF 112 - Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

SMF 113 - YOU:The Weaker Sex

SMF 114 - Reasons To Give Flowers

SMF 115 - How To Stay Awake After Sex

SMF 116 - Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere, but in the Bathroom

SMF 117 - Garbage:Getting it to the Curb

SMF 118 - Sex: You Can Fall Asleep Without it if You Try

SMF 119 - Sex: The Morning Dilemma. If it's Awake, Take a Shower

SMF 120 - The Weekend and Sports are NOT Synonymous

SMF 121 - How to go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost

SMF 122 - How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

SMF 123 - The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

SMF 124 - How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children

SMF 125 - Honest, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Your Naked

SMF 126 - The Attainable Goal: Omitting F##k From Your Vocabulary

SMF 127 - Fluffing the Blankets After Farting IS NOT a Form of Foreplay

SMF 128 - Real Men Ask For Directions

SMF 129 - WIPING: How To Do it So You Don't Leave Skid Marks in Your Shorts

SMF 130 - TELEPHONES: What They Are, Where They Can Be Found and How To Use Them

PLEASE REGISTER IMMEDIATELY! ALL COURSES ARE IN GREAT DEMAND.

CAN I ASK U A QUESTION?

Haldiram ke Chole Bhature, Nirulas ki HCF, Khoob Chand ki Salami, chatkara ki chat, Nizam ke roll, waves ke popcorn, moolchand ke paranthe, south Ex ki bhel, Nayi sadk ki kachori, sec 21 ke Momos, Nagpal ke Chole bhature, Lajpat nagar ke Ram Ladoo, Karims ki keema naan, daryaganj ke chole kulche, Bamboo shoots ka chinese, KFC ka chicken, McDonalds ke fries, Rodeo ka barritto, Wengers ke shami kebab, Khan chacha ke roll, big chill ki missisippi mud pie, Sanjha chula ka chicken, Caslte 9 pe beer, Dilli Haat par momos, India gate par ice-cream, ITO pe paranthe, Tea house ki chai, Subway ka sandwich, Dominos ka pizza, Evergreen ka rasgulla, IHC eatopia, Islamic center, Golf course ke honey chilli potatoes, Journey of spices ka flaming raan, Kake di hatti ke stuffed naan, Moets ka sizzler, Def col ki chinese van, LOC ka kebab platter, Dev Hotel, The Great Kebab Factory, Rajender de dhaba ka tawa chicken, Mohan nagar ke dhabe, Amar colony ki kulfi, Natraj ke dahi balle, Amar chat bhandar, Lassiwalle ki lassi, Deez ki biryani, HBH, Haldiram ki jalebi, Mummy ki kheer, Papa ka mutton, Sindhi ka butter chicken, Andra bhawan ki canteen, Claridges ka Dhaba.

So? where do u want to eat tonight?

REMEMBER WHEN...PART 1

Genius, madness, tears, the sporting world has a blur of heros, losers, champions and charlatans.
Here i have tried to pick a few moments i think are worth a mention again.

1. The Weeping Tiger

At the British Open in 2006 after making the last putt Tiger hugged his caddie and wept. He'd lost his father just before the Open, the cup was a silent salute to him.


2. Nadal vs Federer

It all started in Rome:6-7(0-7), 7-6(7-5), 6-4, 2-6, 7-6(7-5)

After 306 min, no corner of the court without footprint, one man designing, the other defacing them, Federer was the last man standing. Nadal was on his back in triumph. Then and there a rivalry was born which still continues and shows no sign of fading off anytime soon.

Ghazal:
the Indian Wells final between Fed and Nadal when Fed won in 5. How Fed went on and on about youngsters losing steam in between matches!
Little would he have known that 3 years down the line he'd lose his titles to "that" youngster.

3.A New York minute

"The scoreboard said i lost today, but what the scoreboard doesnt say is what it is i have found. And over the last 21 years, i have found loyalty. You have pulled for me on the court and also in life. I've found inspiration. you have willed me to succeed sometimes even in my lowest moments. And I've found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams, dreams i could have never reached without you."
i will not say more.

6. Riding with Rossi

My friends always complained about how boring MotoGP is. Till i pointed him out, and the race wound down, and they started to ride with Rossi. A man so elegant he's like a yellow ribbon threading through the field, a nerveless saint meditating at 300kmh. He may have fallen behind a bit in the last few seasons but sport is about winners, but first it is about pleasure. And riding with Rossi, as my Friends say it now, is taking flying lessons from God.

7. Spanish sports year

They were everywhere, on every podium, every cup in there hands. From the EURO 2008 to the winning spree of Nadal. Hot spanish sweat has left marks on every field.

8. Mistress of surprise

when she came back we all looked wide eyed, its a bad idea we said. Your absence had been too long, your feet too slow, the power too great. But Hingis caught on, made us loose our breath while she drew power from every bit of hers. But then the news of her involvement with drugs hit us, she was the last person we could have expected to do such a thing.

9. Ferrari's Black day

Austira 2002- A black day for Ferrari, the last corner was in sight, Ruben Barrichello had dominated the race from start to finish, he was just meters away when he braked to let fellow team mate win on orders from the team. The German did not need that win, he had wont he last five. There was worldwide outrage and the team had no excuses.

10. Premiership Painted RED!!!!

EPL Champions. Champions League. Sir Alex Ferguson. C.Ronaldo.

11. The film is grainy, scratchy and it has a boy who suggest champions come in more sizes than one. His name is Jason McElwain, 17, 5f 6in, a student at Greece Athena high school in America. He hands out kits to the basketball team.

He is also autistic.

In the school's last game, with 4min. remaining the coach tosses McAlwain a jersey, hoping to give him few min on court, a fleeting taste of a world beyond his reach. He misses his first two shots. then he sinks in a 3pointer. Then another. In four min he scores 20 points, a school record. Team mates yell. People cry. Sometimes amidst the hype, moaning million dollar athletes, swollen egos, we need stories like this. The kid dreamed, he inspired. He was the best of us.

I no i have missed a lot of events please feel free to remind me of them.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN - JAY LONDON!!!

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.


A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.


After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.


At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?


Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.


Do you know it was a year a ago today?


Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?


I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.


I model irregular clothing.


I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.


I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.


I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.


I saw a stationery store move.


I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.


I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.


I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.


I was born nine months premature.


I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.


I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.


I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.


I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.


I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.


I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?


I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.


I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.


I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.


It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.


My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.


My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.


My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.


My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.


My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.


People read me but they don't subscribe.


They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.


You know what burns me? Matches.