CAN I ASK U A QUESTION?

Haldiram ke Chole Bhature, Nirulas ki HCF, Khoob Chand ki Salami, chatkara ki chat, Nizam ke roll, waves ke popcorn, moolchand ke paranthe, south Ex ki bhel, Nayi sadk ki kachori, sec 21 ke Momos, Nagpal ke Chole bhature, Lajpat nagar ke Ram Ladoo, Karims ki keema naan, daryaganj ke chole kulche, Bamboo shoots ka chinese, KFC ka chicken, McDonalds ke fries, Rodeo ka barritto, Wengers ke shami kebab, Khan chacha ke roll, big chill ki missisippi mud pie, Sanjha chula ka chicken, Caslte 9 pe beer, Dilli Haat par momos, India gate par ice-cream, ITO pe paranthe, Tea house ki chai, Subway ka sandwich, Dominos ka pizza, Evergreen ka rasgulla, IHC eatopia, Islamic center, Golf course ke honey chilli potatoes, Journey of spices ka flaming raan, Kake di hatti ke stuffed naan, Moets ka sizzler, Def col ki chinese van, LOC ka kebab platter, Dev Hotel, The Great Kebab Factory, Rajender de dhaba ka tawa chicken, Mohan nagar ke dhabe, Amar colony ki kulfi, Natraj ke dahi balle, Amar chat bhandar, Lassiwalle ki lassi, Deez ki biryani, HBH, Haldiram ki jalebi, Mummy ki kheer, Papa ka mutton, Sindhi ka butter chicken, Andra bhawan ki canteen, Claridges ka Dhaba.

So? where do u want to eat tonight?

REMEMBER WHEN...PART 1

Genius, madness, tears, the sporting world has a blur of heros, losers, champions and charlatans.
Here i have tried to pick a few moments i think are worth a mention again.

1. The Weeping Tiger

At the British Open in 2006 after making the last putt Tiger hugged his caddie and wept. He'd lost his father just before the Open, the cup was a silent salute to him.


2. Nadal vs Federer

It all started in Rome:6-7(0-7), 7-6(7-5), 6-4, 2-6, 7-6(7-5)

After 306 min, no corner of the court without footprint, one man designing, the other defacing them, Federer was the last man standing. Nadal was on his back in triumph. Then and there a rivalry was born which still continues and shows no sign of fading off anytime soon.

Ghazal:
the Indian Wells final between Fed and Nadal when Fed won in 5. How Fed went on and on about youngsters losing steam in between matches!
Little would he have known that 3 years down the line he'd lose his titles to "that" youngster.

3.A New York minute

"The scoreboard said i lost today, but what the scoreboard doesnt say is what it is i have found. And over the last 21 years, i have found loyalty. You have pulled for me on the court and also in life. I've found inspiration. you have willed me to succeed sometimes even in my lowest moments. And I've found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams, dreams i could have never reached without you."
i will not say more.

6. Riding with Rossi

My friends always complained about how boring MotoGP is. Till i pointed him out, and the race wound down, and they started to ride with Rossi. A man so elegant he's like a yellow ribbon threading through the field, a nerveless saint meditating at 300kmh. He may have fallen behind a bit in the last few seasons but sport is about winners, but first it is about pleasure. And riding with Rossi, as my Friends say it now, is taking flying lessons from God.

7. Spanish sports year

They were everywhere, on every podium, every cup in there hands. From the EURO 2008 to the winning spree of Nadal. Hot spanish sweat has left marks on every field.

8. Mistress of surprise

when she came back we all looked wide eyed, its a bad idea we said. Your absence had been too long, your feet too slow, the power too great. But Hingis caught on, made us loose our breath while she drew power from every bit of hers. But then the news of her involvement with drugs hit us, she was the last person we could have expected to do such a thing.

9. Ferrari's Black day

Austira 2002- A black day for Ferrari, the last corner was in sight, Ruben Barrichello had dominated the race from start to finish, he was just meters away when he braked to let fellow team mate win on orders from the team. The German did not need that win, he had wont he last five. There was worldwide outrage and the team had no excuses.

10. Premiership Painted RED!!!!

EPL Champions. Champions League. Sir Alex Ferguson. C.Ronaldo.

11. The film is grainy, scratchy and it has a boy who suggest champions come in more sizes than one. His name is Jason McElwain, 17, 5f 6in, a student at Greece Athena high school in America. He hands out kits to the basketball team.

He is also autistic.

In the school's last game, with 4min. remaining the coach tosses McAlwain a jersey, hoping to give him few min on court, a fleeting taste of a world beyond his reach. He misses his first two shots. then he sinks in a 3pointer. Then another. In four min he scores 20 points, a school record. Team mates yell. People cry. Sometimes amidst the hype, moaning million dollar athletes, swollen egos, we need stories like this. The kid dreamed, he inspired. He was the best of us.

I no i have missed a lot of events please feel free to remind me of them.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN - JAY LONDON!!!

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.


A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.


After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.


At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?


Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.


Do you know it was a year a ago today?


Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?


I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.


I model irregular clothing.


I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.


I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.


I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.


I saw a stationery store move.


I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.


I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.


I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.


I was born nine months premature.


I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.


I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.


I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.


I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.


I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.


I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?


I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.


I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.


I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.


It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.


My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.


My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.


My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.


My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.


My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.


People read me but they don't subscribe.


They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.


You know what burns me? Matches.

SAYONARA JUSTINA

To be frank, i dint know that Henin had retired until one morning when my brother pointed out to me. It was a week old news. The retirement was on the cards no doubt, her walk-no doubt successful-were like of a bollywood hero wounded, yet with enough strength to kill the opponent and squeeze one last song with his heroine. Yet, like every other tennis lover i too had predicted the end to come after the French open not weeks before it. She was expected to defend her title and most likely to keep it to herself for another year. But careers mostly limp and lurch to a finish, and sloppy happy endings remain in Karan Johar's minds.
Fair enough, the Belgian was not always the most graceful of champions. Still, her retirement, while punishing the crowd, was unfortunate and not much more. Estranged from her father, losing her mother early, forced to push her reedy figure to its maximum physical capacity to win, undone in her peak by a debilitating virus, Henin knows despair but had stoically found her way through it all. She has been a fighter, specially during the last few months where she was so stressed out due her health, her relations with her husband, yet she fought like a roman soldier approaching the end of a month old war and returned to the top before the season ended.
The most immodestly gifted woman in tennis is modestly sized and looks like she might need to be tied down in a gale. The Belgian Henin resembles a reed but hits with such ferocity that her racquet must feel like a swishing cane to her opponents. She made tennis look all work and no play, but when that hint of a smile appeared on the corner of her mouth, it deserved extra points.
She was never model-like like Sharapova or Ivankovic. A magnifying glass was required to discover muscles on the diminutive Belgian unlike Mauresmo or Safina. In a world of six-footers Sharapova, Davenport, Venus, and even Hingis at 5ft 7in is officially taller than her, they may look down on the 5ft 6in champion, but in terms of skills must be looking up to her.
Davenport's departure was pre meditated, Hingis's exit appalling but Henin's will leave a big void in women's tennis which will take more than Sharapova's shoes and Ivankovic's skimpy dresses to fill. Facts and not figures make the Belgian stood out. Let her rest now, she deserves it.

Q. Last movie you saw in a theater ?

A. Sarkar Raj

Q. What book are you reading ?

A. Shantaram

Q. Favorite board game ?

A. Monoply, checkers, Snakes and Ladders, Life

Q. Favorite magazine ?

A. Sportsstar, Topgear
Q. Favorite Smell ?

A. Mud after rain, Hugo Boss Energise, Chocolate

Q. Favorite Sound ?

A. Engine reving, Parrot's

Q. The worst feeling in the world ?

A. Waiting for results
Q. The first thing you think of/say when you wake up ?

A. 5 more min plz....ok i sleep an extra hour tonight. I should really start sleeping early from now on.

Q. Favorite Fast Food place ?

A. KFC, Subway

Q. Future child's name ?

A. Fuck Thy Name
Q. 'If I had a lot of money, I would...' Complete this sentence -

A. Get the best of everything for everyone i love

Q. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal ?

A. No No No No....Kocher ma'am does just fine!

Q. Storm - Cool or Scary ?

A. Goosebumping cool!(is it a valid expression?)

Q. Favorite Drink ?

A. Double Vodka neat, Thandai

Q. Finish this sentence - 'If I had the time, I would..'

A. Sleep a little more, Catch up with old friends

Q. Do you eat the stems on Broccoli ?

A. NO!!!

Q. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice ?

A. Frost

Q. Favorite Sport to watch ?

A. Football- Tennis- F1

Q. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you ?

A. Never leaves my side.

Q. What's under your bed ?

A. My sportsstars and beer bottles!!!

Q. Would you like to be born as yourself again ?

A. Yes. But a little modified.

Q. Morning person or Night Owl ?

A. Night Owl

Q. Over Easy or Sunny side up ?

A. Over Easy

Q. Favorite place to relax ?

A. Home

Q. Favorite Pie/Mithai ?

A. Mud Pie/Chena murgi, Kalakand, Kaju katli

Q. Favorite Ice Cream flavor ?

A. Milk Chocolate Chip

Q. Of all the people you tagged this to, who is most likely to respond first ?

A. No one, i'll spare them of the pain.

DRIVE MY SLIVER FIRE

I cannot drive well with my parents sitting in the car. Period. There, i said it. And this is not a statement one is likely to make over an evening tea, i have given this a lot of thought, most of which was when my parents were shouting into my ear for overtaking a car, oh which by the way was going at 30kmph and had a huge L on its back.
I'm not saying that they are entirely wrong, after all Delhi's traffic is as predictable as its weather. But i could do a lot better if i dint have anyone standing on my head and shouting into my brains.
Its not just the shouting i hate, there are comments sometimes. Yes, comments!!! comments which have nothing to do with the topic of discussion or even anything remotely related to places passing by.
i like my drive to be all about me. I want the stereo to be playing system of a down, at a volume only i can listen to, i dont wont to honk and neither to be honked on. I want a cold beverage next to me and most importantly i dont wont either of my parents sitting next to me!!!

My friends in the hostel are trying to teach me table tennis, and believe me it wont be soon before they shave their heads, change there names and move to burma. Well yes u guessed it write-I suck at it!!! But the entire blame cannot be put on me, I mean its nt my fault that while playing I gt reminded of its alternative name-Ping Pong and cant stop giggeling cause it remineds me of that tiger wt a spring tail- Winnie the poohs friend. And how he ping ponged frm one place to another.

Apart from the horror of teaching me TT, my hostel is an excellent place to live in a group…we have so much bonded which each other that we have even appointed an official hostel rapper! He has full access to any one’s room and the shower even when sum1 is in it. And I m proud to say he is so good he is on his 3^rd term!!!

I don’t gt it, why do I have to pay a hefty sum to unknown people eho call themselves “ Skin specialists” to tell me how bad and ugly my skin is. Why cant I just call Simon?

The jaipur blasts were a real tragedy and it was sweet of my friend to call and ask me if everything was fine at my house in jaipur, the only thing that stinged was wen he remarked, “ Good, so no one was picked up fr questioning frm ur house.”