FRIENDLY TIP!!!

Every man should learn. Thats why we go to college. We sleep through our lectures and then get ready for the paatshala - teh canteen, the hostel, the foyer, and many more places which are constantly providing us with some or the other piece of important knowledge. The following are some guidelines that every guy worth his d*&k should know and religiously follow. But before i start, let me warn you that the following rules have not been laid down by me or any one in particular and if ever you get into trouble because of these it is only you who will be responsible.


Field Guide To Being a Guy...

01) Any Man who brings a camera to a hostel party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

02) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

03) It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
1. When a heroic dog dies to save its master
2. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
3. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game

04) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

05) Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move 1. Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing accident

06) Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend of a friend move: 1. You'd rather stay home and watch extream sports reruns.

07) If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

08) The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes. For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

09) Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

10) No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.)

11) Unless you have signed a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one swoosh.

12) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

13) Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15) If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see nothin'.

16) A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

17) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

18) If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

19) Never talk to a guy in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

20) You cannot rat out a friend who shows up at class with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with cheese, give him missed calls every 5 min.

21) Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolate"

22) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

23) When you are queried by a buddy's girlfriend, mother, father, doctor, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

24) Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return is required to grant it.

25) The universal compensation for buddies who help you is beer.

26) If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him

27) Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, you are absolved of your of responsibility.

FIX ME

If only it was so simple. If only there would have been a button you pressed and everything around you would stop for a while, and you could compose yourself. Life has been a passing moment for me lately, like that cat that passes bye and you see it through the corner of your eye....well for me that cat have been opportunities. Opportunities to bend life in a different direction, opportunities to make some one feel good, some one to be put at ease. My life is like an open art exhibition, each painting telling a different story but all together forming an ugly mix of colors.
My dad once said that part of the beauty of life lies in its unexpectedness -- enjoy it!!! But how can you enjoy something you cannot adequately understand? And i do not understand life. I had all these options, i still do, yet i can't make myself take the right step. Maybe cause i don't thing its right, maybe cause it will bring more pain than joy, maybe cause its just too difficult. I won't claim to be the happiest man alive, but yes i'm somewhere down the list.
There are apologies to be made, reasons to be heard, old plans to be executed, new ones to be chalked out. But sometimes life doesn't wait, it strains at the reins of patience, it dismisses tradition to find its own particular way. So, i just move along with it, not stopping to think twice. I wish i did.
So for now, i think i will sit back and let myself make these mistakes, find a new way to look at life. I'll just stand in the crowd and pretend to be a part of it but somewhere deep in my head there will be Chris Martin singing a song i think was made just for me....

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
COULD IT BE WORSE?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you...


Maybe that pause button idea is not so bad after all!!!