Forever In Blue Jeans

2011-12-11T23:47:00.000-08:00

Spotted at the Paris airport.

They may wear a lot of clothes, but they do it with style.

Delhi

2011-12-11T23:35:00.000-08:00

Memories have a nasty way of sneaking up on you. Right now nothing seems as far as home. Yet, thats where i want to be right away.

Rules for the Future

2011-11-01T22:00:00.001-07:00

Time travel is round the corner. Maybe its already happened and we left it back around the last corner. But whenever it decides to go public, there will be chaos. And whenever there is chaos on an international level, US rushes in to take control and Al-Quida wants to take on the blame. So to stop this monotonous drama, my colleague, Sugna Jairam (from hereon referred to as Chachi) and I, Krishanu Mathur lay down the rules of Time travel.

As Science in its myriad tales will reason out, going back in time is not an option. Time travel helps you jump the time coordinate, but you can not interact with the space around you. So, the following rules have been laid out keeping in mind the following:

1. You can only go into the future

2. Since you can not interact without the space around you, you can not change nor become a part of the future. This effect will make it impossible for you to listen to people's conversation and observe anything else except what you came to see.

3. A person's future is a perception of his/her mind based on his personal life and decisions over the past. This inherent property of time travel derives the user to use time travel to see someone else's future apart from his/her.

Keeping all these things in mind, here are the rules:

1. Everyone gets 3 trials in a lifetime to visit the future

2. These 3 trials can not be utilized before one turns 21 years old

3. Everytime you visit the future, the year you travel to becomes your minimum compliance. i.e you can not go to a time before the years that you have already visited.

4. You get a birds eye view of your future and can travel from one spot to another as long as it is in direct relation to the topic you came to explore.

5. Since a person's life is controlled by innumerable variables, the future is decided looking at a persons past decision making abilities.

6. Every minute spent in the future will be x times the minutes in the present. This x will not be 1 and in most probability will be less than 1(we'l let science take care of that).

7. For every minute you are not in the present, your life comes under the control of random sampling and decisions taken during that time will rely entirely on the global mean of decision making.

8. Respecting the notion of string theory, the more the number of people that use time travel and are close to you, the more focussed and probable will be your future.

Play safe.

SAYONARA STEVE JOBS!!! MAY NOW YOU REST IN PEACE

2011-10-08T22:12:00.000-07:00

Obituaries are hard to write. Double so if its for someone you loved with your heart and soul.

I remember as a child, my neighbor had lost his wife of 60 years. He was a painter by profession. Portraits were not his biggest strength but he indulged in them when the subject was right. On being asked why he had not paint his demised wife as an expression of love and remembrance, he shook his head and in a voice befitting a person who had lost a part of his own body and replied, "I was with her for 60 years. I saw her in her prime, i saw her carry my kids in her belly. I saw her when she had her first knee operation. I saw her cry herself to sleep when she found out she had cancer. I try and put her on canvas, but every time i start with a different face, and give up in the middle with a different one in mind."

A few days back, the world lost one of the greatest visionaries of all times. A digital age DaVinci. A person, who through his own personal experiences grew into something that fairy tales are made out of. Maybe i don't have those same emotions for Steve Jobs as the other hundred million who mourn his death. But my love was pure. A love that secretly grew from respect. It was only after 2005 that i started reading about him. He had created something so beautiful and had gone on to be thrown out of his own company. His resilience saw him rise again through new names. And when the time was ripe, he got back with his old company and has never looked back ever since. He was always in the media. His opinions mattered. The whole world stopped to listen when he was on stage. It was not his powers of oration. It was his magic with technology. Making something come alive that existed only in our dreams and big budget movies. He was also brick bated on his personal life. His relationship with his employees and his high headedness about his company.

His ways were critical. His targets were not. His leadership was questioned. His accomplishments were not. His strategies provoked responses. His milestones, silenced them. So, as i sit here in front of my mac and try to pen down an obituary for someone who was like a pillar from which many drew strength, i wonder to myself if i should highlight his miscalculations or praise his success. And just like my neighbor, i bow my head and start with a face, only to give-up in the middle with a different one in mind.

New Country, New Rules

2011-08-08T07:21:00.000-07:00

I don't know how, but i have somehow managed to cross an ocean, 2 continents and 7315 miles in a span of 24hours and just a couple of drinks. It feels good. No home sickness, till now. The weather is same as back in Delhi, maybe a couple of months too soon. People are nice and the streets are clean. Cars are fast and the life slow. The commercials are different but the message same. In a world infected with globalization and mass production, this small human being will be as much as at home as he was back in delhi. Well, at least thats what i am hoping for. It wont be long before i realize the hard truth - I'm no more the majority. I am an alien, a foreigner, an uninvited guest who has clearly forgotten his place in the pecking order. But till that day comes, and it will come someday, i will take in as much as i can and give back equally. Let this day mark a new beginning, a fresh page in my book of life. And for all of you who are watching-"Fasten your seatbelt madam and messieurs, its going to be a bumpy ride."

2010-11-18T10:21:00.000-08:00

I can't think of any good book to read. And it has to be a really good book. So, i have decided to write my own. Here it goes....

On a midnight metro train travels a girl. Her hair are long, lips small. Her eyes round like a marble, her cheeks flat. She barely manages to reach the arm hangs, but hangs on. People around her stare, no one moves. They think is amusing, a free circus, a story to share. Shes not embarrassed, not now. She's grown used to it. It was initially very tough, like thorns pricking you everywhere. She would twitch, cross her legs, arms, mind. Then they just became random noise. Slowly they melted into the surrounding, they were as expected as metro announcement. She liked those announcements, she would try and guess what the man in English spoke. Her mother knew English, highly unusual for a women of her age. But she got the business going, if you caught her on one of her best days, u'd end up paying double for Zia. Zia, what an ironic name.

I shouldn't be writing

2010-10-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

Ahh it feels good to be back. Get that familiar keyboard under my fingers, that camel and white screen template. If only my blog could smell, it would smell of a forgotten book in the other end of the cupboard. Just the way i like them. But i shouldn't be here. It wasn't planned. I was on a mission. A mission to write. I was only suppose to be picking up things from here, inspiration for say.

Has it been that long since i last wrote that i have forgotten my style? Or has my world changed so differently that i don't feel the way i used to? I wish to gain back what i have lost. For starters can someone help me identify what i have lost.

Even now i struggle to write more, yet i shall continue. In due course i shall attempt at making a silly joke on Shera and hope my readers find it funny. But this never happened in the past. Yours truly would write what came to his mind. Only stopping to use the spell check.

So much is happening around me i wish to stand up and talk about. The metro, delhities last savior from the monstrous blue lines, has got a compartment reserved specially for ladies now. In todays world where women talk of equality and shopping with equal fervor, was such a step necessary?

And The Great Games-CWG 2010...ahh every writers bowl of rice. What can i say about them in such a short space.

I want to write about all this and lots more. But why cant i?

Have i lost my Mojo? any suggestions Austin Powers?

The Pull

2010-06-07T12:03:00.001-07:00

Eureka!!! Thanks to my equally intellectual friend and accomplice Dhananjai (what a "in-your-face" name, right?) i have found the meaning to EVERYTHING!!! Wow, doesnt it sound so easy? Everything, what a big domain the word encompasses. From "why did the apple fall towards the ground?" to "Why Mr.X found Mrs.Y better than Mrs.X?", everything can be explained through a simple reason. Pull. Everything has a Pull towards it...weather its our dreams towards us or the light towards mosquitoes. Everything pulls. Question is, can we escape this pull? can we detach ourselves from everything and roam as an isolated commodity. Can we reach nirvana?

THE DILLI WAY- "WE DO IT TOGETHER"

2010-02-11T10:15:00.000-08:00

I'm Back

2010-02-06T08:41:00.000-08:00

Hello People!
Sorry for the sudden and long dissapearance. I know hardly anyone of you might have noticed dust accreting on my blog but still ill put out an excuse.You see your's truly was shot a few months back. It did hurt a lot no doubt but after a few weeks as i recovered and was ready to get back on track i got this ego boost that someone actually tried killing me!!! That means i was actually important enough for someone to risk getting caught to shoot me down. I had to find out who was it. So when i plumbed into the situation feeling all important and crying for 'Z' security, i found out that my shooter was a deranged lover on his way to kill his girlfriend and just decided to do some shooting practice first. Shooting practice!!! i was his plastic duck!!! That just took me deep into depression. I know what a sad story my life is...anyways i'm up and running now so ill see you more often on this space. Keep dropping by. Thank You.

P.S you are more than welcome to send me chocolates, teddys....card?

2009-05-08T14:18:00.001-07:00

Yo makhi, this is my blog. :)

2009-05-07T13:57:00.000-07:00

Seminars For Men... Once again the female staff will be offering courses to men of any marital status. Classes will be limited to 10 men as the course material may be difficult.

SFM 101 - Combating Stupidity

SFM 102 - You Too Can Do Housework

SFM 103 - P.M.S. : Learing When To Shut Up.

SFM 104 - How To Fill An Ice Tray

SFM 105 - We Don't Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas, Give Us Money

SMF 106 - Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4 AM

SMF 107 - Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly called Don't Wash My Panties)

SMF 108 - Parenting:No, It Doesn't Stop With Conception

SMF 109 - Get a Life, Learn How to Cope

SMF 110 - How Not to Act Like an Asshole When You're Obviouly Wrong

SMF 111 - Spelling, Even You Can Get it Right

SMF 112 - Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

SMF 113 - YOU:The Weaker Sex

SMF 114 - Reasons To Give Flowers

SMF 115 - How To Stay Awake After Sex

SMF 116 - Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere, but in the Bathroom

SMF 117 - Garbage:Getting it to the Curb

SMF 118 - Sex: You Can Fall Asleep Without it if You Try

SMF 119 - Sex: The Morning Dilemma. If it's Awake, Take a Shower

SMF 120 - The Weekend and Sports are NOT Synonymous

SMF 121 - How to go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost

SMF 122 - How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

SMF 123 - The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

SMF 124 - How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children

SMF 125 - Honest, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Your Naked

SMF 126 - The Attainable Goal: Omitting F##k From Your Vocabulary

SMF 127 - Fluffing the Blankets After Farting IS NOT a Form of Foreplay

SMF 128 - Real Men Ask For Directions

SMF 129 - WIPING: How To Do it So You Don't Leave Skid Marks in Your Shorts

SMF 130 - TELEPHONES: What They Are, Where They Can Be Found and How To Use Them

PLEASE REGISTER IMMEDIATELY! ALL COURSES ARE IN GREAT DEMAND.

CAN I ASK U A QUESTION?

2008-09-20T12:30:00.000-07:00

Haldiram ke Chole Bhature, Nirulas ki HCF, Khoob Chand ki Salami, chatkara ki chat, Nizam ke roll, waves ke popcorn, moolchand ke paranthe, south Ex ki bhel, Nayi sadk ki kachori, sec 21 ke Momos, Nagpal ke Chole bhature, Lajpat nagar ke Ram Ladoo, Karims ki keema naan, daryaganj ke chole kulche, Bamboo shoots ka chinese, KFC ka chicken, McDonalds ke fries, Rodeo ka barritto, Wengers ke shami kebab, Khan chacha ke roll, big chill ki missisippi mud pie, Sanjha chula ka chicken, Caslte 9 pe beer, Dilli Haat par momos, India gate par ice-cream, ITO pe paranthe, Tea house ki chai, Subway ka sandwich, Dominos ka pizza, Evergreen ka rasgulla, IHC eatopia, Islamic center, Golf course ke honey chilli potatoes, Journey of spices ka flaming raan, Kake di hatti ke stuffed naan, Moets ka sizzler, Def col ki chinese van, LOC ka kebab platter, Dev Hotel, The Great Kebab Factory, Rajender de dhaba ka tawa chicken, Mohan nagar ke dhabe, Amar colony ki kulfi, Natraj ke dahi balle, Amar chat bhandar, Lassiwalle ki lassi, Deez ki biryani, HBH, Haldiram ki jalebi, Mummy ki kheer, Papa ka mutton, Sindhi ka butter chicken, Andra bhawan ki canteen, Claridges ka Dhaba.

So? where do u want to eat tonight?

REMEMBER WHEN...PART 1

2008-08-23T12:09:00.001-07:00

Genius, madness, tears, the sporting world has a blur of heros, losers, champions and charlatans.
Here i have tried to pick a few moments i think are worth a mention again.

1. The Weeping Tiger

At the British Open in 2006 after making the last putt Tiger hugged his caddie and wept. He'd lost his father just before the Open, the cup was a silent salute to him.

2. Nadal vs Federer

It all started in Rome:6-7(0-7), 7-6(7-5), 6-4, 2-6, 7-6(7-5)

After 306 min, no corner of the court without footprint, one man designing, the other defacing them, Federer was the last man standing. Nadal was on his back in triumph. Then and there a rivalry was born which still continues and shows no sign of fading off anytime soon.

Ghazal:
the Indian Wells final between Fed and Nadal when Fed won in 5. How Fed went on and on about youngsters losing steam in between matches!
Little would he have known that 3 years down the line he'd lose his titles to "that" youngster.

3.A New York minute

"The scoreboard said i lost today, but what the scoreboard doesnt say is what it is i have found. And over the last 21 years, i have found loyalty. You have pulled for me on the court and also in life. I've found inspiration. you have willed me to succeed sometimes even in my lowest moments. And I've found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams, dreams i could have never reached without you."
i will not say more.

6. Riding with Rossi

My friends always complained about how boring MotoGP is. Till i pointed him out, and the race wound down, and they started to ride with Rossi. A man so elegant he's like a yellow ribbon threading through the field, a nerveless saint meditating at 300kmh. He may have fallen behind a bit in the last few seasons but sport is about winners, but first it is about pleasure. And riding with Rossi, as my Friends say it now, is taking flying lessons from God.

7. Spanish sports year

They were everywhere, on every podium, every cup in there hands. From the EURO 2008 to the winning spree of Nadal. Hot spanish sweat has left marks on every field.

8. Mistress of surprise

when she came back we all looked wide eyed, its a bad idea we said. Your absence had been too long, your feet too slow, the power too great. But Hingis caught on, made us loose our breath while she drew power from every bit of hers. But then the news of her involvement with drugs hit us, she was the last person we could have expected to do such a thing.

9. Ferrari's Black day

Austira 2002- A black day for Ferrari, the last corner was in sight, Ruben Barrichello had dominated the race from start to finish, he was just meters away when he braked to let fellow team mate win on orders from the team. The German did not need that win, he had wont he last five. There was worldwide outrage and the team had no excuses.

10. Premiership Painted RED!!!!

EPL Champions. Champions League. Sir Alex Ferguson. C.Ronaldo.

11. The film is grainy, scratchy and it has a boy who suggest champions come in more sizes than one. His name is Jason McElwain, 17, 5f 6in, a student at Greece Athena high school in America. He hands out kits to the basketball team.

He is also autistic.

In the school's last game, with 4min. remaining the coach tosses McAlwain a jersey, hoping to give him few min on court, a fleeting taste of a world beyond his reach. He misses his first two shots. then he sinks in a 3pointer. Then another. In four min he scores 20 points, a school record. Team mates yell. People cry. Sometimes amidst the hype, moaning million dollar athletes, swollen egos, we need stories like this. The kid dreamed, he inspired. He was the best of us.

I no i have missed a lot of events please feel free to remind me of them.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN - JAY LONDON!!!

2008-06-18T12:36:00.000-07:00

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

Do you know it was a year a ago today?

Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

I model irregular clothing.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

I saw a stationery store move.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

I was born nine months premature.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

People read me but they don't subscribe.

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.

You know what burns me? Matches.

SAYONARA JUSTINA

2008-06-12T13:02:00.000-07:00

To be frank, i dint know that Henin had retired until one morning when my brother pointed out to me. It was a week old news. The retirement was on the cards no doubt, her walk-no doubt successful-were like of a bollywood hero wounded, yet with enough strength to kill the opponent and squeeze one last song with his heroine. Yet, like every other tennis lover i too had predicted the end to come after the French open not weeks before it. She was expected to defend her title and most likely to keep it to herself for another year. But careers mostly limp and lurch to a finish, and sloppy happy endings remain in Karan Johar's minds.
Fair enough, the Belgian was not always the most graceful of champions. Still, her retirement, while punishing the crowd, was unfortunate and not much more. Estranged from her father, losing her mother early, forced to push her reedy figure to its maximum physical capacity to win, undone in her peak by a debilitating virus, Henin knows despair but had stoically found her way through it all. She has been a fighter, specially during the last few months where she was so stressed out due her health, her relations with her husband, yet she fought like a roman soldier approaching the end of a month old war and returned to the top before the season ended.
The most immodestly gifted woman in tennis is modestly sized and looks like she might need to be tied down in a gale. The Belgian Henin resembles a reed but hits with such ferocity that her racquet must feel like a swishing cane to her opponents. She made tennis look all work and no play, but when that hint of a smile appeared on the corner of her mouth, it deserved extra points.
She was never model-like like Sharapova or Ivankovic. A magnifying glass was required to discover muscles on the diminutive Belgian unlike Mauresmo or Safina. In a world of six-footers Sharapova, Davenport, Venus, and even Hingis at 5ft 7in is officially taller than her, they may look down on the 5ft 6in champion, but in terms of skills must be looking up to her.
Davenport's departure was pre meditated, Hingis's exit appalling but Henin's will leave a big void in women's tennis which will take more than Sharapova's shoes and Ivankovic's skimpy dresses to fill. Facts and not figures make the Belgian stood out. Let her rest now, she deserves it.

2008-06-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

Q. Last movie you saw in a theater ?

A. Sarkar Raj

Q. What book are you reading ?

A. Shantaram

Q. Favorite board game ?

A. Monoply, checkers, Snakes and Ladders, Life

Q. Favorite magazine ?

A. Sportsstar, Topgear
Q. Favorite Smell ?

A. Mud after rain, Hugo Boss Energise, Chocolate

Q. Favorite Sound ?

A. Engine reving, Parrot's

Q. The worst feeling in the world ?

A. Waiting for results
Q. The first thing you think of/say when you wake up ?

A. 5 more min plz....ok i sleep an extra hour tonight. I should really start sleeping early from now on.

Q. Favorite Fast Food place ?

A. KFC, Subway

Q. Future child's name ?

A. Fuck Thy Name
Q. 'If I had a lot of money, I would...' Complete this sentence -

A. Get the best of everything for everyone i love

Q. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal ?

A. No No No No....Kocher ma'am does just fine!

Q. Storm - Cool or Scary ?

A. Goosebumping cool!(is it a valid expression?)

Q. Favorite Drink ?

A. Double Vodka neat, Thandai

Q. Finish this sentence - 'If I had the time, I would..'

A. Sleep a little more, Catch up with old friends

Q. Do you eat the stems on Broccoli ?

A. NO!!!

Q. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice ?

A. Frost

Q. Favorite Sport to watch ?

A. Football- Tennis- F1

Q. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you ?

A. Never leaves my side.

Q. What's under your bed ?

A. My sportsstars and beer bottles!!!

Q. Would you like to be born as yourself again ?

A. Yes. But a little modified.

Q. Morning person or Night Owl ?

A. Night Owl

Q. Over Easy or Sunny side up ?

A. Over Easy

Q. Favorite place to relax ?

A. Home

Q. Favorite Pie/Mithai ?

A. Mud Pie/Chena murgi, Kalakand, Kaju katli

Q. Favorite Ice Cream flavor ?

A. Milk Chocolate Chip

Q. Of all the people you tagged this to, who is most likely to respond first ?

A. No one, i'll spare them of the pain.

DRIVE MY SLIVER FIRE

2008-06-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

I cannot drive well with my parents sitting in the car. Period. There, i said it. And this is not a statement one is likely to make over an evening tea, i have given this a lot of thought, most of which was when my parents were shouting into my ear for overtaking a car, oh which by the way was going at 30kmph and had a huge L on its back.
I'm not saying that they are entirely wrong, after all Delhi's traffic is as predictable as its weather. But i could do a lot better if i dint have anyone standing on my head and shouting into my brains.
Its not just the shouting i hate, there are comments sometimes. Yes, comments!!! comments which have nothing to do with the topic of discussion or even anything remotely related to places passing by.
i like my drive to be all about me. I want the stereo to be playing system of a down, at a volume only i can listen to, i dont wont to honk and neither to be honked on. I want a cold beverage next to me and most importantly i dont wont either of my parents sitting next to me!!!

2008-05-27T11:52:00.000-07:00

My friends in the hostel are trying to teach me table tennis, and believe me it wont be soon before they shave their heads, change there names and move to burma. Well yes u guessed it write-I suck at it!!! But the entire blame cannot be put on me, I mean its nt my fault that while playing I gt reminded of its alternative name-Ping Pong and cant stop giggeling cause it remineds me of that tiger wt a spring tail- Winnie the poohs friend. And how he ping ponged frm one place to another.

Apart from the horror of teaching me TT, my hostel is an excellent place to live in a group…we have so much bonded which each other that we have even appointed an official hostel rapper! He has full access to any one’s room and the shower even when sum1 is in it. And I m proud to say he is so good he is on his 3^rd term!!!

I don’t gt it, why do I have to pay a hefty sum to unknown people eho call themselves “ Skin specialists” to tell me how bad and ugly my skin is. Why cant I just call Simon?

The jaipur blasts were a real tragedy and it was sweet of my friend to call and ask me if everything was fine at my house in jaipur, the only thing that stinged was wen he remarked, “ Good, so no one was picked up fr questioning frm ur house.”

RANDOM SHIT ON MY WALL

2008-04-18T13:48:00.000-07:00

JUST ANOTHER DAY

2008-04-18T13:35:00.000-07:00

Free day. Cricket. Party. Chinese. Vodka. Mettalica. Fight. Blood. Water. Broken glass. Nescafe. Phone. Colours!!! lol.....frikkin college life......

2008-03-11T09:19:00.000-07:00

DID i really pull it off? was it so subtle that even i din't realise it till now?
but if its done why dont i feel the way i thought i would? did i miss something out?
could it be.....

THEY WILL BE MISSED

2008-02-12T11:57:00.000-08:00

"It was a freak accident...." Thats how they explained it, thats exactly how. Maybe you too would have called it a "freak accident" if you happened to be present there, at that moment, you too would have seen - just like i did - the car hit her and go on to bump into a tree. You too would have stood there-just as i did-staring open eyed as your brain calculated fast and tried to come up with a conclusion on whom to help first. And its moments like these that the brain shuts down, refuses to take in anything. Maybe its just not manufactured to take in "freak accidents" like these. And after all would have passed, the bodies taken, the scene cleared, you would walk away- just like many other- to tell others about this "freak accident", but i din't. I stayed. Cause i knew, knew a lot.

But will they still call it a "freak accident" when the parents arrive? won't they be taken into a big room or a small room or any room strong enough to swollow there voices. Will they be told everything? the fight, the letters, the bottle of vodka, the mid-night stroll? Will they be informed about the night he was discovered outside the girls hostel having passed out only after shouting her name out loud countless of times? or that why she had been missing classes or the body pain she had been complaining about so much.

Mothers will cry, fathers will blame each other. Making one last attempt to calm their minds, to find an answer to the questions their children left them with.
But who shall i blame? i knew them well to understand that it was the circumstances that caused all of this to happen. I will sit down where we three always sat when we wanted to get away from everything and what will ring in my ears is something she said to me the last time we spoke:
"Maybe money cannot buy love, but u can end up paying heavily for it."

AUSTRALIAN OPEN 2008

2008-02-10T08:22:00.000-08:00

Sport follows a plan. Every coach swears by it, every manual prescribes it. To win you need to sweat, embrace consistancy, gain a new perspective, sometimes you change tactics, sometimes your mentor. There are customs to be followed for success. Please understand.

For instance, Nadal takes his game to the workshop for an overhaul, takes the spanner to his mind, tightens his discipline. He manages to reach the semi final of the Australian Open for the first time since turning a pro. This makes sense. Logic is at work here.
For instance, Maria Sharapova oils her awkard movement, polishes her confidance, finds a new perspective to life, mentally takes a leap last year where she brakes barriers against top names in tennis. In Australia, she pushes her way to the final. She wins. no surprise is felt, her work ethic is evident, her discipline plain.

But sometimes, rarely, magnificently, sport makes little sense, it sneers at logic, it laughs at convention, it mocks every rule. Victory lands in from nowhere and its powerfull because it reinforces the art of impossible. Occasionaly it is the closest we come to magic.

What we saw at the open was exceptional. The new surface was approved by almost ever player, the pace added to the ball made tennis even more fun to watch this time.

Unseeded players making it to the final, Serbians exposing a poet's imperfections, the flaws in his meter. Stars packing bags early, players geting into controversies...it was like a priyadarshan movie.
But the end was a swan song for both the finalist, each making a mark at there standings. Justin Henin dissapointed, Sharapova impressed, Venus struggled, Sania depressed, Ivanovic came of age. But its to soon to question Federer's place in tennis. Roddick and Hewitt need a miracle, Nadal needs to find consistancy.

Whatever the outcome, this Slam was something to remember. Not just for what came on the field but also for what went off it.

And Sharapova, we hope you havent forgotten those roses.

HOMESICKNESS

2008-01-23T09:02:00.000-08:00

Something we all have experienced but never could put it down in words.

""u noe i always wondered hw ppl cud gt homesick,i alws wantd t get out of th small town,hav a bigger life,see th world,but now wen i am away frm home i realise tht i always be a small town girl .iv realised y homsickness is called a sickness nd tht hw 1 cn b home sick nd nt even b aware f it,bt finally wen it wears off, u actualy realise tht u wer home sick.
its wen u stop swichin on th wrong switch fr light in ur hostel room cos it ws th second switch frm th left in ur room at home,wen u stop luking fr paneer in th palak paneer f th mess coz u noe its nt there,,its wen u stop lingerin on th washing f th dad's muffler tht u gt frm home ur dad coz it still smells f him,nd wen u finally stop gettin nostalgic wen u see wallpapers nd screen savers f mountains on desk tops.""

MANSIONS OF THE MIND

2007-12-18T11:43:00.000-08:00

The concepts of dimensions and multi-verses always found a sweet spot in my brain.
This is something i found while going through old files on my PC.

A square is flat as it is a 2-D object. In a 3-D world, such as the one we live in, an analogous object would be the cube. In a science fiction short story by Robert Heinlein, And He Built A Crooked House - a mathematically inclined architect constructs a home shaped like a folded out 4-D cube or tesseract. The idea is to save on real estate costs since the extra rooms would be occupying space in the fourth dimension. This kind of a spaced out hypercube is something most of us can't imagine, leave alone visualize. And the 11 dimensions posited in the string story just give most people headaches at 11 different places just to think about it.
So now when we hear about an international team of mathematicians which have finally managed to map one of the largest and the most complicated structure in mathematics with a total of 248 dimensions, the eyes just roll back and the mouth opens to gasp in air!!! It just shows that the human brain which is primarily geared to deal with the more "ordinary" world out there, has a rather independent mind of its own which can learn to cope with extraordinary and out of this world concepts. Yet, funnily, just because some things are not easily comprehended doesn't mean we cant figure out any practical use for them. In parallel computing for example, tesseracts are used as the basis for a network topology to link multiple processors.
In other words, starting from sometime now, and increasingly so in the future, we will have to build artificial annexes to complement the housing nature has provided. Only then will we be able to truly understand the complex nature of reality.

2007-11-13T11:26:00.000-08:00

Q. What is your middle name?
A. Swarup

Q. How big is your bed?
A. Queen size

Q.What are you listening to right now?
A. FM static

Q. What was the last thing you ate?
A. Dal makhani, roti, rajma masala

Q. Last person(s) you hugged?
A. Brothers

Q. How is the weather right now?
A. Chilly

Q. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
A. Gaurav

Q. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
A. Hair/Height/Face

Q. Favorite type of Food?
A. Chinese/Mugali

Q. Do you want children?
A. Yes

Q. Have you ever cried over a love lost?
A. No

Q. Last Movie you watched?
A. Zodiac

Q. Do you have any piercings?
A. Ear(right)

Q. Favorite Movie?
A. More than one

Q. What were you doing before filling this out?
A. Pucking

Q. Have you ever loved someone?
A. Yes

Q. Who would you like to see right now?
A. Renu

Q. What color are your bedroom walls?
A. Lilac

Q. Have you ever fired a gun?
A. No

Q. Do you like to travel by plane?
A. Yes

Q. Right-handed or Left-handed?
A. Right-handed

Q. If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
A. Ajmer

Q. Are you missing someone?
A. Yes

Q. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
A. Yes

Q. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
A. Designs

Q. Favorite hangout ?
A. College Foyer, Nescafe, Home

Q. 3 things you can't live without?
A. Music, Books, Friends

Q. Favorite songs?
A. To many

Q. What are you afraid of?
A. Myself

Q. Are you a giver or a taker?
A. Both

Q. What are your nicknames?
A. Kitandu

Q. What do you sleep in?
A. Shorts n 'T

Q. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing?
A. Lappie

Q. First thing you'll save in a fire?
A. People

Q. What is your favorite color?
A. Purple

Q. What are the things you always bring with you?
A. Money, Keys

Q. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
A. Aeronautical engineer

Q. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on?
A. Run away

Q. What do you think about before you go to bed?
A. Deadlines

FRIENDLY TIP!!!

2007-10-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

Every man should learn. Thats why we go to college. We sleep through our lectures and then get ready for the paatshala - teh canteen, the hostel, the foyer, and many more places which are constantly providing us with some or the other piece of important knowledge. The following are some guidelines that every guy worth his d*&k should know and religiously follow. But before i start, let me warn you that the following rules have not been laid down by me or any one in particular and if ever you get into trouble because of these it is only you who will be responsible.

Field Guide To Being a Guy...

01) Any Man who brings a camera to a hostel party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

02) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

03) It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
1. When a heroic dog dies to save its master
2. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
3. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game

04) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

05) Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move 1. Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing accident

06) Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend of a friend move: 1. You'd rather stay home and watch extream sports reruns.

07) If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

08) The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes. For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

09) Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

10) No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.)

11) Unless you have signed a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one swoosh.

12) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

13) Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15) If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see nothin'.

16) A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

17) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

18) If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

19) Never talk to a guy in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

20) You cannot rat out a friend who shows up at class with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with cheese, give him missed calls every 5 min.

21) Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolate"

22) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

23) When you are queried by a buddy's girlfriend, mother, father, doctor, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

24) Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return is required to grant it.

25) The universal compensation for buddies who help you is beer.

26) If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him

27) Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, you are absolved of your of responsibility.

FIX ME

2007-10-04T11:26:00.000-07:00

If only it was so simple. If only there would have been a button you pressed and everything around you would stop for a while, and you could compose yourself. Life has been a passing moment for me lately, like that cat that passes bye and you see it through the corner of your eye....well for me that cat have been opportunities. Opportunities to bend life in a different direction, opportunities to make some one feel good, some one to be put at ease. My life is like an open art exhibition, each painting telling a different story but all together forming an ugly mix of colors.
My dad once said that part of the beauty of life lies in its unexpectedness -- enjoy it!!! But how can you enjoy something you cannot adequately understand? And i do not understand life. I had all these options, i still do, yet i can't make myself take the right step. Maybe cause i don't thing its right, maybe cause it will bring more pain than joy, maybe cause its just too difficult. I won't claim to be the happiest man alive, but yes i'm somewhere down the list.
There are apologies to be made, reasons to be heard, old plans to be executed, new ones to be chalked out. But sometimes life doesn't wait, it strains at the reins of patience, it dismisses tradition to find its own particular way. So, i just move along with it, not stopping to think twice. I wish i did.
So for now, i think i will sit back and let myself make these mistakes, find a new way to look at life. I'll just stand in the crowd and pretend to be a part of it but somewhere deep in my head there will be Chris Martin singing a song i think was made just for me....

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
COULD IT BE WORSE?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you...

Maybe that pause button idea is not so bad after all!!!

Filler Post

2007-09-29T12:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you think of a thing to rude to be done to you by someone
and then unknowingly you go on and do it to the very same person

I WILL MISS TIM

2007-09-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

I was never a part of the "Henmania", yet there was something about Tim Henmen that will make me miss him. His stats weren't outrageous, grabbing attention, yet they were not meaningless. They told a story about a gentleman and his hard work to achieve his dream while carrying the pressure from a whole nation on his back.

Henman was a player out of fashion. His game was not forged in the heat of a modern foundry, but stitched together by some gentleman tailor, all nice, quaint lines, no whiff of power, no scent of arrogance, just simplicity. You’d think he’d just borrowed a racquet from Fred Perry’s statue near the front gates at Wimbledon and arrived ready to play. One might say that some days he appeared a poet at a convention of rap artists.

Maybe Henmen was one of the last from the dying species of serve and volley, maybe he seemed to have jumped a few years ahead.But that guy made his mark and he will be remembered not just by me, not just by England but a large mass of tennis lovers. It is enough.

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

2007-08-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

Friday, 5:15
Two bluelines, zero DTC. i am sure the bus is just around the corner.
Friday, 5:55
That must be a long corner. Where the F*&K is the bus? i bet James Bond never has such problems.
Friday, 6:10
Finally a DTC obliged on me, if only there was space i could flash a smile. Lets just hope this ends fast, my feet hurt.
Friday, 7:30
That was just a lovely bus ride, such humble people, ready to to scratch my butt for me. And Posjo's P.G. seems to be a cosy place to rest. Maybe i will do that till Posjo and Ravisha get ready--i know its not going to be anytime soon.
Friday, 8:20
I m wearing a new shirt, Ravisha looks as if she's just apparated from the sets of Shrek 3 and Pooja is wearing something she says is anti her. Pooja checks if we have everything we will be needing-- keys, money, Good clothes, right set of lies, phone and tissues. And now we are Officially ready to party!!!( that is if we reach there on time)
Friday, 8:47
Small walk till college and Posjo is already filling me up with instructions, "If u see two people of the same gender making out plz. try not to stare." Of course i wont stare.....wheres my camera?

to be continued.....

My First Car

2007-08-09T13:51:00.000-07:00

Just came back from Ahmedabad yesterday. It was fun, no it really was! O.K. fine the rain dint let me venture out much but yes, the times i did get to do stuff was fun. Anyways i will be writing a lot about it later on but first things first -- i drove the new Grand Vitara!!! courtesy my relative's friend i got a test drive. Honestly its been not that long since i have really started to drive and i have come in agreement with my dad that "Knowing how to drive is very different from actual driving", but an offer this tempting would have been difficult for anyone to decline.
My first reaction when i seated me bumbs on the drivers seat was of familiarity, yet things looked futuristic. Everything was so neatly placed, buttons for me to fiddle with, but what if they fall off? Better not to touch anything. The ride was smooth, those air suspensions really prove their worth. I did have problems around the corners but it was mainly due to my lack of experience. The ABS and ESP really helped on those slippery roads, the car seemed to have a mind of its own, a very disciplined mind. I took my own time with the car and when i was done i just couldn't stop smiling-yes that same smile that reaches from ear to ear and makes you look like a baboon.
Ah, well what ever you may call me i just did my first test drive, will this be my first car? Na....but atleast its an option.

FILLER POST 1

2007-07-24T13:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the best way to look at yourself is through someone else's eyes.

2007-07-18T11:32:00.000-07:00

Thank you again Ishita for that delicious lunch. If there is one thing i will surely miss when you are gone will be the lunches at your place where i so shamelessly hog down all the food.

So as i sat in my room thinking out inhuman ways to steal those perfect recipes from Ishita's cook, i stumbled across a question-is there something as the "PERFECT" recipe? Is it Sanjay Kapoor's tadka, Nirma Dalal's pre-heated kdai or our mother's touch that makes that gourmet preparation a finger-licking good? Is cooking, like everything else in exsistance governed by the laws defined under what we call science? so i sat on the net for almost an hour drooling saliva on my keyboard as i flipped through sites trying to find a solution and what i found was pretty delici.....i mean....interesting.

Charles William, a senior lecturer in physics was once asked: "Is there a formula to calculate the boiling time for soft-boiled egg?". He managed to derive a formula which by the time anyone works it out their eggs will be boiled rock solid. But while what rocket science could not solve, a UK based company has come up with what they call "self-timing" eggs. The idea is to mark the surface of the shell with logos in thermochromic invisible ink which becomes dark when it reaches a certain temperature. I am sure you must have figured by now how these work...see they are simple...even you can use them!!!
So, is the technology going to solve this problem once and for all or what? Obviously not, because cooking isn't like a perpetually replicable scientific experiment involving precision conditions and quantities to determine an exact result every time, anymore, by anyone. It's an art. And in art there's no way to permanently eliminate failure or creativity. For instance, in a survey conducted last year by Waitrose Food Illustrated magazine, five chefs were asked how to boil an egg. It received five different answers with one saying to stir the egg constantly in boiling water for six minutes in order to keep the yolk exactly dead in the middle, and another maintaining it should sit in the water for 60 seconds. In fact, if they had asked a 100 different chefs how to prepare lobster or bharva baingan they would still have got a 100 different recipes--yet all of them would have tasted divine.

Little People Are Cool...

2007-07-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

A little while back I was searching for the "On the Lot" movies when I came across Daily Dose of Imagery site and have been following the postings since. Then today I came across the little people's site. Totally amazing, simple and elegant. Hop over there and check out the images. Slinkachu does some amazing stuff on his site.
While you are at it and find the stuff impressive then also check Brickfilms. This is about stop motion animation and this site marries two of my favorite things together...Lego and Stop motion animation, so i like this best among everything out there.

Myths and Legends

2007-07-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

My bus trips are generally supported with a nice book and music, but a few months back while travelling from Delhi to Jaipur i met this fellow named Brad David, an american by name and accent he was on his way to jodhpur. A dedicated tennis fan, we began talking about backhands and volleys, from there we moved to the greats of the game and then we reached the U.S. open. The slightest mention of which lit up his eyes, after all he had been going there year after year. He was there when Pete Sampras cried, he was there when Agassi said goodbye....

A fan rumouredly shot in the leg. A spectator apparently plays saxophone in the crowd. Assasin-eyed Pete gets so moved he cried at one. This is the US open, believe what you will. Stars have been made and broken here. Sometimes you play under the stare of hollywood stars. Sometimes everyone goes home except the stars as night matches sweat into the open mornings.
When Connors played it was chaotic, crackling, cackling, concrete fight club where a crotch grab was like some sort of salute. Now Federer almost seems to yawn as he walks past his opponents to take back his trophy.
Its 1989, Connors,37, the only man to win the open on all three surfaces, is doing his last-man-standing thing, he's down 1-5 and goes on to lose to a 19-year-old kid with a juggler's fast hands and a blinding wardrobe.
The kid who beats Connors that day is now 36. He has said his sayonara. No one hates Agassi, not any more. Not even for marrying Steffi. He hates his twisted back. But careers mostly limp and lurch to a finish, and sloppy happy endings remain in Karan Johar's minds. Either way people wept. Once at the open, they laughed at Agassi.
Agassi changed, too. Tennis was a gamble for Agassi, shots hit without thought like careless rolls of a dice; but then he became the architect, each point finely calibrated, each match a grand design. That pale-face fellow Agassi plays in the 1990 final, his father is not at the court, he's at the mall. Nervous, understandable. Till a shopkeeper mentions his son, Oh, That Sampras kid won. This is a New York moment.
The legend that Sampras kid eventually becomes is right in front of us. He looses the 1992 final. Pressure he reasons out. Connors says its bullshit. Sampras is altered forever. An executioner is born. He wins 5 opens. equaling whom? Jimmy.
Federer has no hard edges. His game isn't rude. His feet make no noise. He is about as likely to grab his crotch as Connors is to get a full pedicure before his match. For Connors the open was like a jungle trail, but Federer has turned it into a catwalk.
The Open will stay here but the Champions will change. Each sandpapering there names amidst the steel and mortar of the open.

TRAPPED IN A BOX

2007-06-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

The feeling is just not going away. I have given it time but it seems to put my mind in a hyper-extensive mode of hibernation, attempting to leave which triggers of reactions ranging from dizziness to loss of memory!!!
If i were to put this in simple language, i would have to admit i am being too lazy to lift my fat fingers and start working.
But don't worry i am coming online pretty soon.
Till then bring out that mango pie!!!